- It is mainly by word of mouth that the news spreads that such and such a guy is eligible and is ready for marriage amongst the community folks. But with Internet and social media these days, there are few community websites where you can upload the details for the rest to see or rather portray about the girl or the boys current status. Mine wasn’t uploaded anywhere and we chose the traditional ‘word of mouth’ strategy – slow but always effective 😉
- Girls parents usually contacts the boys side for the horoscope and exchange of the horoscope along with probably the pictures takes place. Usually, these are shared via mails these days but if we go back not more than 10 years back, the girls parents used to visit the boys side in person and hand over the horoscope in person.
- Post the horoscope exchange, the astrologer from each side matches the horoscope and based on his Green flag talks proceed.
- Once horoscope matches, parents from both sides decide upon the family and the respective girl/boy having a good character, job etc etc in other words, whether he/she is capable or not of entering the wedlock.
- Post which, the ball is in the boys/girls court with a meet being set up and then confirmation/rejection happens.
During my final week of stay or rather I can say it was 3 days until my flight back to Singapore when one of my mothers cousin called up stating her brothers daughter is working for TCS, Bangalore and they are willing to give the horoscope. The horoscope exchange happened with my photograph being mailed across and they sending her one. These days, astrologers are quite busy and with their schedule running very tight, it is very difficult to get their time. When all this was unfolding, I headed back and my normal life began here at SG.
November 28th, 12pm IST, I had set up a call with her and due to my over night implementation back at work, I woke up close to 11:55am IST 🙂 after suddenly realizing that there was a call I managed to get some 15mins buffer after texting her. She obliged with a smile 🙂 The call eventually started at around 12:20pm approx which lasted for around an hour and 10 minutes. I did not meet her face-to-face but that skype call was enough for me to agree and wave the flag back. 🙂 What we spoke for an hour plus ten minutes is something that I would not like to disclose but it definitely was something that struck a chord and I was happy and smiling post the same. 🙂 I guess she too was 🙂 Post that, I spoke to my mom and I did not have to say anything to her, she herself knew my answer 🙂
Arranged marriage was something I always wondered as to how it would even happen and go through during the initial stages of getting to know someone unknown and here I was experiencing the same. I used to ask my parents, specially mom about the experience she had when she initially met dad as during those days there were no mobiles, no messages and even calls were very less and expensive. We are lucky to be in the century where communication between any corner of the world is possible with even very less amount to pay for.
Thus began our initial round of whatsapp and calls with texts being thoughtfully sent, calls made but words being carefully used but the bridge was built quite fast with frequent calls and messages. It did not take long to know her, at least some of her likes,dislikes etc if not in-depth. With the time difference of 2.5 hours, I had to quit a little bit of sleep time in order to get adjusted to the call timings but overall, it was quite a wonderful initial start. 🙂
The first meet was something I was working on with December being a month of block leaves for most of the employees and me having taken my share early in November there was a bit of cover up to be done back at work and hence until January 8th, I had to postpone my first meet with her. December month went across in a jiffy with my parents meeting her and her parents and from the pictures I could say that parents were very happy after the meet. 🙂 Sometimes, when you see your parents happy, the feelings says a lot and we don’t need to think twice about the rest.
January 8th did finally arrive with 4 days of Bengaluru trip planned and this trip was special! The First ever meet 🙂 Quite a number of questions were being asked internally, how do I react, what should I talk, how should I behave etc etc. and somehow I remember telling myself enroute to Bengaluru to remain calm and go by the flow. My flight landed at approx 12:45am at BIAL, post which I called up my parents informing about the safe arrival and also texted her about the same. I was supposed to meet her and her family next noon but somehow there was a gut feeling that she had come down to pick me up from the airport! I refrained from asking her the same, but I was constantly bombarded with questions about my immigration, luggage formalities being completed or not which kind of added on to my gut feeling 🙂
When I did manage to come out, my gut feeling was true and there she was 🙂 along with her father, sister and brother in law! A “HI” was all that I muttered to say(too too cold in bangalore 😉 ) as somehow it was a totally different feeling of meeting face to face for the first time even though we had conversations for hours together daily until then 🙂 I was happy, very happy seeing her 🙂
Saturday was a formal meet with her family along with mine followed by lunch which was sumptuous. So many items that, a little of everything would fill up your tummy. Me and my bro being very less eaters, we managed only little of everything 😉
Orion Mall and then the next day Mantri mall was quite wonderful. Tuesday flew off very very soon with the thought of departure that night looming around 😦 Akka and Bavaji did come to drop me back again to the airport as I could spend those extra couple of hours again with her 🙂
All along, the only thought that went through me was that, how quickly life had changed and there was someone beside me who cares for me now a lot who before a month was someone unknown. I am grateful to malshi to have given me such lovely parents and brother who care for me and love me by supporting me in all ways possible and now one more family added to that with her parents and sister and bavaji, caring equally for me. 🙂
Those 4 days were one of the most wonderful moments of my life that I would cherish throughout and with marriage being 7 months down the line, this definitely was a meet that was very much needed 🙂 Yes, I always mentioned as “HER” & “SHE” – but here I can happily introduce “Vidya Pai” to you all 🙂
Malshi and parents blessings have made it possible to find someone who I felt is ideal for me with respect to her nature, behaviour and also care,concern and respect she has towards elders. Mingling with my family and treating them as theirs is one of the most important and noteworthy thing that I admired a lot in her and I am sure there are many more things I am willing to know as and when time progresses 🙂
To this beautiful start – Thank you Vidya for accepting me the way I am and I hope the first meet was equally amazing for you as well! 🙂